Monday, May 23, 2005

Movie review: Revenge of the Sith

So I haven't even seen it yet but I'm going to judge it by the first two films of the prequel: Its going to SUCK! I've only been a mediocre fan of the original series and these newest installments have made me re-think even that tenous allegience. The only thing that could save this movie for me if the internet rumors are true and that Lucas got my favorite playwrite Tom Stoppard to indeed, ghostwrite the dialogue. But, alas, the more you dig the more you see that Tom Stoppard was supposed to ghost write the first two as well. I can just image that Lucas succombs to fan preassure and gives Tom Stoppard a call. It might have gone like this:

Lucas: Hey Tom, how's life? Doin' much since that whole Rosengill thing?
Stoppard: Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead? Why yes actually I've
written several Tony award winning...
Lucas: Right right, whatever. My publicist says I need someone to take a
look at my masterpiece here and he says "Tom Stoppard will give you the
legitimacy you're looking for, plus he works for peanuts these days..."
Stoppard: Ah, thanks I think...
Lucas: So as long as you don't make any changes would you once over my
script here let me know how brilliant you think it is?
Stoppard: I'm a little bus...
Lucas: Great I'm faxing it now.
3 hours later
Stoppard: Yeah George, about this script here...
Lucas: Pure gold every last word isn't it?
Stoppard: Gold wasn't the pure substance I was thinking of. Mind if I send you some suggestions for dialogue?
Lucas: Sure as long as you don't change anything...

Lucas: Stoppard you hack, you couldn't write dialogue if you were, ah, reading it in a book or something...
Stoppard: Mr. Lucas please.
Lucas: Look I was thinking about giving you a writing credit on this but now... What the hell is this? I can barely read your scribble... Senator
Palpatine as King Lear? Who the hell is King Lear? And look at this, you are such a one trick pony Stoppard... This note here: R2 and C3PO are
actually Rosencrantz and Guildenstern? C'mon, you made a couple of bucks from that movie move on... You can't keep reliving the glory days buddy... Greek chorus in the senate? People don't want that sh#% they want classic themes and blowing sh#$ up.
Stoppard: Sure, sure they do George. Why don't you leave it as is and I'll talk to you,ah, say never?
***************** fin ****************************
I bet that's how the ghost writing went.


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